Hey y’all! Being in quarantine, it’s given me a lot of time to reflect on how I feel towards school, friendships, and more. With that being said, one major thought that’s stuck out to me is this: Teachers and peers are the people that keep me grounded at school. What does this mean? Well, for me, they’re the people that always keep me in check, give me energy to continue the school day, and always engage with me to grow and want to learn more.
I know not everyone’s school teachers nor peers can be this great. However, I am a huge believer in the power of mindset. Viewing the same situation through different lenses, if you will. I’ve gone through some tough spots with difficult teachers, or had hard times getting a project done due to a stubborn classmate. However, I’ve learned if I can be understanding, and take time to zoom out on the greater picture, that I can readjust a situation to be more compassionate, which in turn grow or strengthen some relationships I’ve had with teachers and peers. The common theme throughout this article is taking a step out of your way to feel for others. This sympathy I’ve learned to utilize as a skill, has been the foundation of many new friendships I’ve earned, and solidification of relations with teachers I’ve had.
Here are some “lessons” or ways I’ve thought around negative things, which have helped me strengthen my relations with teachers and peers.
1) View all the hardships of high school life through “Optimistic Nihilism”.
What is this “optimistic nihilism” I speak of? Great question. This is a type of philosophy that combines traits of both optimism and nihilism. Optimism, being the positive, hopeful view towards life and Nihilism being the belief that nothing in life matters (I know my definitions aren’t exact, but to get my point across, in essence this is what they mean).
There is a great video I’ve watched from Kurzgesagt that covered this interesting topic. I first watched it when it came out fresh from the channel. It was during the Summer, before my first year in high school as a Freshman. Little did I know, this video stuck with me. Of course, it’s not something I actively think about 100% as if I woke up from bed instantly thinking about this. No. Rather, the lessons and “philosophy” of that video stuck with me, and harbored the rest of my actions. What I’m trying to say here is that this video is awesome, and a great mindset towards life was learned here, for me at least.
Here’s the video if you want to check it out.
2) View everything as an opportunity to grow.
I know many people who turn to negativity and bicker when things don’t go their way. Although some people do have a good reason to be bitter, a majority of people I know go straight to this “coping” method without thinking through things. Everything in life can be viewed as an opportunity, you just have to adjust your perspective.
Something didn’t go the way you wanted? See and investigate what you could’ve done on your end to fix it, or what you could’ve done better to make it happen.
Didn’t get the grade you want? Talk to the teacher and see what you can do to improve it the next time you do an assignment for them. Don’t word it or structure this conversation as a demand or confrontation for a better grade. Rather, see it as a learning opportunity to see where you went wrong. Don’t make the teacher feel as if they’re against you, learning is a team effort, not an individual one.
Didn’t get the role or position you wanted in a club? Ask people around you what they think “went wrong”. Self-assess to see how you could’ve advocated for yourself better. Maybe you did one thing right, but didn’t invest enough time doubling down on another. You won’t know what you could’ve done better unless you ask and reaffirm from others what they saw.
In the same way, these “opportunities” don’t always have to feel negative or bitter towards yourself.
Just heard about a masterclass or an internship opportunity? Jump to it! This is an obvious and literal “opportunity”. What do you get by not being interested and not signing up? Nothing!
Have some free time in the summer? Take it as time to self-reflect. As time to search for a summer job, time to get in tune with your hobbies, time to delve into academics; don’t let time slip away from you and become passive.
This same pattern I’ve shown through these examples are easy to catch onto. These common things happen to everyone. It's how you decide to view it and “flavor it”, if you will, that changes the tone and attitude you have towards tackling it. View everything as an opportunity to grow.
3) Make an effort to make a relationship with each one of your teachers
When I say make a relationship, I mean to do this- each student has a teacher right? And in that relation, the student must do their work and submit it to their teacher, listen to their lectures, and take in all the knowledge so that when test day comes, they prove all the knowledge they were able to take in. However, that sounds so bland, doesn’t it? Who can admit after reading that, that some of the relations you’ve had with teachers before were exactly like that, bland? I know not all teachers are dynamic nor fun at first. I know there are the teachers who often make a great first impression, in order to engage and make the connection to us students. I know that they go out of the way just to harbor those good relations. However, I know not all teachers are like that. Those few teachers are the ones that care so much that they make the effort to outreach first to their students, not the other way around. However, me bringing up all those teacher “caricatures” was so I can bring this point up: most teachers are expected to be the ones to reach out to their students. This is true and expected, obviously, as they’ve the source of giving for knowledge, homework, and more.
However, a nice change of tempo that we as students can do is to do it the other way around. Let US students reach out to teachers, see how we can do more for their class, ask them how their day was, ask them more questions about the course, etc. This active engagement we can make as students can show not only we care about the teacher, but also the course, and can make learning in the classroom more worthwhile.
4) Be grateful for what your teachers do, and communicate this to them.
Teachers do SO much for us students! Not only are they underpaid, but they keep track of each and one of our growth for our betterment. They often are underrecognized, so in going with my third point above, actively engage and let them know that you appreciate all they do! Of course, don’t do it to teachers who you can tell are disconnected and aren’t in teaching for the right reasons, but stay in it and give this energy to teachers who deserve it, even teachers who may seem to not care at first. Talk to them as people too, not only as teachers; that’s the best and truest way to create worthwhile connections, and see who is truly here for the right reasons. Give recognition and thanks as appropriate. Also, I think it's important for me to note, this doesn’t mean giving material gifts to teachers. If anything, my point I’m trying to carry out here is this - be nice and treat teachers with thought and care, their work goes unnoticed often too far and the least we can do is say thanks and treat them as we appreciate them.
5) Remember that everyone is human
People are humans! Take everything in life with a grain of salt, and treat everyone the way you’d want to be treated. I know this is a very straightforward and “easy” one to know, but it’s often never practiced in reality. Be patient, listening, encouraging. Be the friend to your peers that they know they can rely on during hard times. Growing as a person means also lending a hand to others to also grow from. Be a good person and be proud of it. Understanding others is one huge tool in life that can get you far in life. Also, remember to smile, people love seeing other people be positive.
6) Realize the impact of words
The vocabulary we use daily are composed of a bunch of different words. Of course, the language we use while writing essays is different from the language we can choose to use everyday, casually. So, with that, I challenge you to assess and see which words you use are “negative” words that don’t have a great connotation with them; words that can put others down. Then, I challenge you to replace those words with words of encouragement and positivity. The power that words have are insane, so whatever language you decide to use towards your peers, realize the active power it has, and own up to the words you do end up using.
7) Think as if every action you do is watched by others
This is one that’s relevant both towards teachers and peers. If you do things that you wouldn’t be proud of in front of your parents, let alone grandparents, why would you do it at school in a classroom? Whether it be cheating, engaging in gossip, or other stuff. Be a good person and 100% engage and be proud in whatever you decide to do. Actions speak louder than words, so if you lead by example, not only will you know you are doing the best you can as an individual, but you can rest assured knowing your impact on the world is one you will be proud of. Accountability is the main word here, and if you can’t justify or own up to anything you do or say around different people, then don’t do it at all. Just know the power you have, and choose to do good is what I’m trying to say, haha.
8) Have fun and live in the moment
Lastly, after reading everything, I know you may feel overwhelmed or “deep” realizing all the power you have as a person, or the responsibility you have as playing the role of a “student” or fellow “peer” at school. Yes, everything I mentioned before this is important. However, this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be fun and lively. Be a bright light and have fun at school. Be carefree in a friendly, inclusive matter. After all, most of the things you will remember from high school will be the fun memories, so make all your time you spend at school count! Be spontaneous, be loving, be here for others.
The role and influence you have of others surrounding you, whether it be teachers or fellow peers, is great. Choose to do with it what you will, but being a responsible and empathetic human is not a bad way to go about it. I wish you all luck on maintaining good relations with both your teachers and peers throughout your years of high school. I know these words I’ve written may come off as non-applicable in reality, or “too deep”. However, these are all lessons that I’ve seen play out in real life; these are all ways to view life that come in handy wherever applicable. Your presence on this world is noted, so make it worthwhile and make it good!
- Emi
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